Scum Sucking Rats

As of this month, in Brownsville, WA over 550 unsuspecting people have been ruthlessly gnawed on by "Scum Sucking Rats," as many agreed to name them. Few of these rodent creatures have been found or examined and apparently are a very rare species of rodent to come by.

Yet new answers have been emerging -
Franklin Newson, a Biologist at Franklin State College suspects these rats are endangered because they have been hiding underground, in pipes, in sewers, etc. and have not been able to come to get food in a very long time do to industrialization. Therefore the sudden flurry of reports was do to the species "last dying desperation". Many species are intelligent enough to understand their extinction is near, and go on a frenzy to find any possible food or water. "But why they fed on human flesh and nothing else is a mystery." Newson says.

This morning, several animal biologists made a startling discovery. They mapped out all possible rodent offspring eventualities in carnivorous eating habits, and filtered through only those with unusual or uncommon habits. This brought them right to the 15th century, where they found a rodent by the name of Deprilius Cannibibulus. This creature fed off of monkeys and human beings only, which was horrifying to say the least. What made this particularly alarming was the fact that this species may been emerging back into the world.

Hopefully these creatures are eradicated before they do any harm. The biologists did not know what potential disease or infections could have been brewing the rodent's bodies, and did not hesitate to assure the city of Brownsville to keep very close eye on their households and protect themselves from any contact with the potential Deprilius Cannibibulus or "Scum Sucking Rats".

"They usually prefer darkness, which is why it is advised homeowners take precautions before turning out the lights and going to bed." The animal biologists advise as well to search carefully before walking into a basement or any room that has had its lights turned off for a long time. Another precaution is plumbing, as these rodents are expected to be lurking through pipes and the sewers, and may appear unexpectedly in sinks and wide open drains.

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